$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
