Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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