Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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