Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
