just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
