Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
