You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
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What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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