I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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