i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
