I smell stomach acid.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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