Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
