how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
