im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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