I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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