He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
