normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
