I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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