I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
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I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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