ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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