Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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