I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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