you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
