Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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