I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
