you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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