I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
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You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
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Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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