Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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