I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
