I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
