Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
