if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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