I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize