burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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