I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
