I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
