theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
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Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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