he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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