Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
