yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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