He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
