he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize