hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
