I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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