Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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