She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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