Pregnant stripper...not hot.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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