just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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