Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
