Just cropdusted the office
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
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