I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
there is puke in my bra ... again
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