We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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