"it" just moved
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my sisters under your porch take her home
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
