If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I checked into jail on foursquare
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize