Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
