I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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