Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
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i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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