so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
