A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
