the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
