I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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